| A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging. Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams? Patient: Why? Docor, it wasn't all that bad this time. Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the four o'clock ball game. |
| A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth. Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do? Dentist: Wear a brown tie! |
| Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It's $90.00. Patient: $90.00 for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like. |
| "I came in to make an appointment with the dentist." said the man to the receptionist. "I'm sorry sir." she replied. "He's out right now, but..." "Thank you," interrupted the obviously nervous prospective patient. "When will he be out again ?" |
| A husband and wife entered the dentist's office. The husband said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible." "You're a brave man," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is." The husband turns to his wife and says, "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear." |
| Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window? Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public. |
| Dentist begging the patient: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams? Patient: Why? Doc, it isn't all that bad this time. Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the 4 o'clock ball game. |
| Patient: "It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone's mouth." Dentist: "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet." |
| "I am sorry, madam, but I shall have to charge you hundred dollars for pulling your boy's tooth." "Hundred dollars! Why, I understood you to say that you charged only twenty dollars for such work!" "Yes," replied the dentist, "but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared out four other patients out of the office." |
| What does the dentist of the year get?...A little plaque. |
| Why did the dentist make a poor date with the manicurist? Because they fought both tooth and nail! |
| How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to administer the anaesthetic, one to extract the light bulb, and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash. |
| What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth taken out? The dentist. |
| Monster: Doctor, doctor, I'm a blood-sucking monster and I keep needing to eat doctors. Doctor: Oh what a shame. I'm a dentist. |
| Fred's mother was on the telephone to the boy's dentist. "I don't understand it," she complained, "I thought his treatment would only cost me $20, but you've charged me $80." "It is usually $20, ma'am," agreed the dentist, "but Fred yelled so loudly that three of my other patients ran away!" |
| Nigel: You said the school dentist would be painless, but he wasn't. Teacher: Did he hurt you? Nigel: No, but he screamed when I bit his finger. |
| Why are you laughing? My dentist just pulled one of my teeth out. I don't see much to laugh about in that. But it was the wrong one! |
| As the judge said to the dentist: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth? |
| Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania? Dracula's dentist. |
| I'm suffering from bad breath You should do something about it! I did. I just sent my wife to the dentist. |
| Dentist: Don't worry. I'm painless. Patient: I'm not. |
| Patient: Doc, what should I do with all the gold and silver in my mouth? Dentist: Don't smile in a bad neighborhood. |
| Patient: Hey, that tooth you pulled wasn't the one I wanted pulled. Dentist: Relax, I'm coming to it. |
| Father: Don't you feel better now that you've gone to the dentist? Son: Sure do. He wasn't in. |
| Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out. After examining him, the dentist said, "Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush?" "Ah sure do!" replied Cloyd. "Everee single day!" "What do you brush with?" asked the dentist, "Preparation H," said the redneck. |
| I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist? That's right, Sir. So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend? That was my dentist. |
| At what time do most people go to the dentist? At tooth-hurty (2:30). |
| What did the dentist say to the golfer? "You have a hole in one. " |
| Why does a dentist seem moody? Because he always looks down in the mouth. |
| Why do dentists like potatoes? Because they are so filling. |
| What is a drill team? A group of dentists who work together. |
| Why do people dislike going to the dentist? Because he is boring. |
| What is a dentist's office? A filling station. |
| What do you call the Scottish dentist ? Phil McCavity ! |
| What do you call a dentist in the army ? A drill sergeant ! |
| What time is it when you have to go to the dentist ? Tooth Hurty ! |
| Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden?... A month later he was picking his teeth |
| What game did the dentist play when she was a child?...Caps and robbers |
| What does a dentist do on a roller coaster?...He braces himself |
| What did the dentist see at the North Pole?...A molar bear |