| Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? A: Laughing stock. |
| What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ? An udder failure ! |
| Camper: Look at that bunch of cows. Farmer: Not bunch, herd. Camper: Heard what? Farmer: Of cows. Camper: Sure I've heard of cows. Farmer: No, I mean a cowherd. Camper: So what? I have no secrets from cows! |
| Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don't work. |
| A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say, farmer. Is that bull safe? Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now! |
| I hear you take milk baths. That's right. Why? I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower! |
| If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get? Half and half! |
| If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get? "Beeflt!" |
| If you crossed two cows with a flock of ducks, what would you get? Milk and quackers! |
| If you had a gun and you were being chased by a bull and a mountain lion, which one would you shoot first? The mountain lion. You can always shoot the bull! |
| What do you call a cow that plays the guitar? A Moosician! |
| How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down |
| How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them! |
| How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick. |
| How does a cow do math? With a cowculator! |
| How to you know that cows will be in heaven? It's a place of udder delight. |
| I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm. Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow? I'd look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle! |
| If you make a cow angry, how will she get even? She'll cream you! |
| In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York! |
| Is there big money in the cattle business? So I've herd! |
| I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk! But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish? |
| Pa's being chased by a bull! Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it? Get me some film for my camera! |
| Teacher: Name five things that contain milk. Pupil: Butter, cheese, ice cream ... and two cows! |
| That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing! I told you he was a bum steer! |
| That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet! |
| What animals do you bring to bed? Your calves. |
| What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs! |
| What are the spots on black-and-white cows? Holstaines |
| What band is a cow favorite? Moody Blues |
| What country do cows love to visit? Moo Zealand! |
| What did one dairy cow say to another? Got milk? |
| What did the calf say to the silo? "Is my fodder in there?" |
| What did the cow wear to the football game? A Jersey. |
| What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass? "Hey! Look at the cow's nest!" |
| What do cows call Frank Sinatra? Old Moo Eyes! |
| What do cows do for entertainment? They go to the mooooovies. |
| What do cows do when they're introduced? They give each other a milk shake! |
| What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever |
| What do cows get when they do all their chores? Mooney. |
| What do cows like to do at amoosement parks? Ride on the roller cowster. |