| I've got a new aardvark. Would you like to play with him? I don't really know. I've heard it growling, it doesn't sound very friendly. Does it bite? That's what I want to find out. |
| What has six legs, two arms, four eyes and a tail? A man holding an aardvark. |
| A man wanted a new aardvark so he looked through the classified ads. He phoned a number he found and an elderly lady answered. "How much are your aardvarks?" he asked. "They're L6 each," came the reply. "Did you raise them yourself?" inquired the man. "Oh yes," she said, "Yesterday they were only L5 each." |
| How do you define an aardvark? Aan aanimal that resembles an aanteater! |
| Which aardvark holds the speed record? The nearsighted aardvark, who wrapped his tongue around a motorcycle! |
| Did you hear about the household appliance that eats ants and records TV shows? It's the VCRdvard |
| Two aardvarks watched in amazement as a firework flashed across the sky. 1st aardvark: Wow! I wish I could fly like that. 2nd aardvark: You would, if your tail was on fire. |
| What does an aardvark get when he overeats? Ant-digestion! |
| What does an aardvark take for ant-digestion? Anta-Seltzer! |
| Who's the aardvark's favorite female vocalist? Bearbara Streis-ant! |
| Who's aardvark's favorite male singer? Frank Sinostril! |
| What are the aardvark's favorite Beatle's songs? It's Been an Aards Day's Night and I Want to Hold Your Ant! |
| What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? An aardvark with the sniffles! |
| What does an aardvark use when he has a cold? An ant-ihistamine! |
| What command does the aardvark give most often when he sails? Snout about! |
| What does the aardvark take sailing? An aard ark! |
| How do ants hide from aardvarks? They disguise themselves as uncles! |
| Why do aardvarks like to talk to ants? They can stick to the subject! |
| Why was Easter the aardvark's favorite holiday? Because he liked aard-boiled eggs! |
| What has 200 legs, 50 noses, and is very loud? A herd of stampeding aardvarks! |
| Where does the aardvark family always come first? In the phone book! |
| What do you call a boxing match between two aardvarks? A snout bout! |
| What do you call an aardvark that's just won a fight? A well 'aardvark! |
| What do you call an aardvark that's just lost a fight? A vark! |
| What do you call an aardvark that's been thrown out of a pub? A barredvark! |
| What do you call an aardvark outside Buckingham Palace? A guardvark! |
| What do you call an aardvark in a frying pan? A lardvark! |
| What do you call a pickled aardvark? A jarredvark! |
| What do you call an aardvark that plays poker? A cardvark! |
| What do you call a thick-skinned aardvark? A hardvark! |
| What do you call an aardvark good with a light saber? A darthvark! |
| What do you call an aardvark that writes poems? A bardvark! |
| Why can elephants swim - and aardvarks can't? Aardvarks don't have trunks! |
| What did the aardvark say when he lost the race to the ant? If you can't beat 'em, eat 'em! |
| Who won the animal race? The giraffe and the aardvark were running neck and neck, but the aardvark won by a nose! |
| Why does mama aardvark call her husband a cannibal? Because he ate his ant for dinner! |
| When is an aardvark jumpy? When he's got ants in his pants! |
| Why do aardvarks make undesirable neighbors? Because they always have their noses in other people's business! |
| What do you call a three-footed aardvark? A yardvark! |
| What do you call an road construction aardvark? A tarredvark! |